I finally decided to write. Really, I've been writing a lot but its been mostly private because it hasn't been to good of stuff. I'm so stressed this week that I decided to vent.

I've really changed a lot. A lot of people think that because I'm right next to the high school and because I still hang out with high school kids that I'm the one that's still stuck to high school. Truth is, I'm far from that. I really do miss East Lake sometimes. I have memories from that place that I'll never forget. I look back on them often.

In reality, I feel that I've grown more than most people have. Going from knowing everybody, working a little bit, being in charge of everything to this is such a big change. I completely provide for myself now. My parents helped with some of the tuition but besides that I'm paying for books, car insurance, food, entertainment, clothes, etc. I'm working about 2-3 times a week, and I'm picking up a second job for the next 3 months to help pay for that stuff. As much as it sucks sometimes, I actually like it. I feel so independent from my parents since they're not paying for my stuff. If I ask they'll help, but I don't want to ask..I'm on my own now.

School....yeah. That's a toughie. I'm way too loaded down with all that (^) stuff that school is stressing me out too. Way too many classes that I have no idea what is going in. And to think that there's at least 10 years left makes it so hard to keep going.
Watching Grey's Anatomy and listening to the songs from the show really make me realize that I should stick it out though. They're doing what they love, and watching them do it makes me realize how much I want to do that.

As for this past weekend...HAH. Fuck trust. Made me realize that the little bit of high school I'm trying to hold on to by keeping those friends should be let go except for those that I really care about.
USF has made me completely start over from scratch in meeting new people, I had no backup. And maybe that's whats meant to happen, I'm just supposed to start over. Keep those who matter close to my heart, and do my best in making new friends. I already do have a lot, it just takes time to get to know each other, yet ironically...they all already know how obnoxious my laugh is and how weird I get after I study for too long haha. Luckily, they're all premed students so hopefully these friendships will last more than a year.

PS- I went to the homecoming carnival tonight and am feeling incredibly sick to my stomach from all the swirly rides, and my head hurts from getting stuck upside down (went on the ferris wheel where you are in a little cage and harrison and I were spinning and then our cage got stuck upside down at the very top) hahaha that was hilarious, scary as hell, but priceless.

Like I said before....

I absolutely freakin' love my friends :)

So finally an update..crazy, eh? So yeah...this summer...

This past summer was really busy. I literally worked my ass off this summer. I coached, lifeguarded, and did swim lessons so I was working 35-40 hour weeks all summer so that's why I wasn't very available as my friends noticed. Plus, I swam for a summer league too. It was worth it though, I made great friends, and I met some amazing little kids. I loved coaching..it was a great experience. I shocked myself by learning about 140 names, and actually knowing each and every one of them. Today was our banquet and it was really hard saying goodbye to all of them bc if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have gotten through this summer! So as much as I would've liked to go on vacation, I can't complain, I was surrounded by awesome people everyday. Sucky thing is, I hardly got a break, I was in the sun all day, and I had to get up at 6am every morning for practice. yeah...waking up sucks. It probably didn't help that Blake left me for Europe for about 3 weeks, but he had an absolutely amazing time and he brought my back some awesome gifts from there. I <3 him.
My birthday was amazing too! Blake, AJ, and Greg suprised me at my house with balloons and flowers...and believe me that's hard, since im always on top of everything. I love you guys! Later people came over and we had a little party complete with spanish dancing and cake! My first "legal" rated-R movie was Wedding Crashers...SO freakin' hilarious.
I had my championship meet and I did pretty good, so im pretty proud of myself. And I just found out today that we broke our team's record for our relay..so I got a medal for it. I'm so happy about that :)
And now finally the whole "gang" is back together after some vacations and we had some great suprise bday/home coming parties. My friends are the best friends I could ever ask for.

So one hell of a summer, huh?

Now school's started up and we're seniors. That's crazy! and scary at the same time. First 2 days of school I was a little grumpy bc I didnt see my friends too much but then I remembered all the things we're going to do this year and all my goals before I finish out and this is going to be one fun year, I'll promise you that. Yes, I set myself up for stress, but I'm used to handling sports, school, and extracurricular activities(my bajillion clubs) all at once. And i gotta add NHS to that, ahh I'm so excited.  I really hope I'm a good president.

Plus I started off the first week of this year great by going on friday to VANS WARPED TOUR 'O5!! Ahhhh it was so freakin' amazing, I have so many stories! I couldn't have asked for anything better. I went with my friends and we 6-7 hrs of pure awesomeness. I saw most of the bands I wanted to see, except Motion City Soundtrack which im really upset about. But I got to see My Chemical Romance, Senses Fail, Story of the Year, Relient K, The Offspring, Hawthorne Heights, and i dont know who else. They were all awesome and I had such an awesome time with my friends even through the obscene amount sweat, smoke, mosh pits, crowd surfers, and beer getting spilled on me.
Thank you so much you guys, I had a blast and I can't wait for the upcoming concerts!!!

Well for right now that's it. It's late and this little girl is still tired from warped tour since she didnt get to sleep much after the concert. Hopefully I'll update soon!

"summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends"

I <3 my friends :)

Happy Birthday to my lovely boyfriend! I love you so much. The big 1-8!
(July 30th)

A day late (bday-july 17th) but anyway....

Happy Birthday to me!!!

The big 1-7! woop!

I know I havent written anything in a while but I will soon, I promise. This is just way too long of not knowing about little 'ol me!

PS- I have the best friends ever :) I love you guys.
PSS- I miss Kari so much!